Relationship Therapy
What is Relationship Therapy?
Relationship therapy, also known as couples therapy or marriage counselling, is a modality aimed at helping individuals in relationships or marriages resolve conflicts, improve communication, and develop healthier and more satisfying relationships. It involves working with a trained therapist or counsellor who specializes in dealing with relationship issues. Relationship therapy also applies to relationships in all their forms such as families, friendships, blended families and workplace relationships.
The primary goal of relationship therapy is to bring into discussion the challenges and difficulties that couples may be facing together and help them better understand each other’s perspectives, emotions, and needs. This type of therapy provides a safe and supportive environment where couples can openly discuss their concerns and work together to find solutions.
Types of therapy / methods we use:
Relationship therapy may explore various aspects of relating, including:
Communication Skills: Therapists often help couples improve their communication skills, by exploring how to express thoughts, feelings and needs more effectively, and how to listen actively to each other.
Conflict Resolution: Couples are guided through constructive ways of resolving conflicts and disagreements. They learn how to manage and handle differences without escalating into damaging arguments.
Identifying Patterns: Therapists help couples identify patterns of behaviour and communication that might be contributing to the issues. This awareness allows couples to identify and interrupt these patterns to create more satisfying interactions.
Emotional Connection: The therapy aims to re-establish or strengthen emotional bonds between partners, fostering a sense of closeness, intimacy, and connection.
Exploring Individual Needs: Sometimes, relationship difficulties can stem from unresolved individual issues. Therapy can provide a platform for partners to explore their personal histories and how they might be affecting their relationship.
Intimacy and Sexuality: Couples may seek therapy to address challenges related to intimacy and sexuality within their relationship. Therapy provides a safe place to explore this openly and honestly.
Setting Goals: Therapists assist couples in setting realistic goals and developing strategies to achieve them, which helps establish hope and creates a roadmap for positive changes.
Boundary Setting: Establishing healthy boundaries within the relationship is important. Therapy can help couples define and maintain these boundaries to ensure mutual respect and understanding.
Who is Relationship Therapy for?
All relationships can benefit from relationship therapy. Some examples of relationships that may require additional support with communication, resolving conflict and strengthening the overall relationship dynamic may include:
Couples Relationships/Marriage: Couples therapy or marriage counselling can help couples address issues such as communication challenges, infidelity, intimacy concerns, financial conflicts, parenting and differences in values or goals.
Family Relationships: Family therapy can assist in resolving conflicts, improving communication, and addressing issues within a family unit, such as parent-child conflicts, sibling rivalry, or dealing with a family member’s addiction or mental health issues.
Parent-Child Relationships: Parent-child therapy can aid in improving communication, setting healthy boundaries, and resolving conflicts between parents and their children.
Friendships: Friendship therapy can help friends navigate conflicts, address misunderstandings, and work on strengthening their bond.
Workplace Relationships: Workplace relationship therapy can assist in resolving conflicts among colleagues, improving teamwork, and addressing issues related to power dynamics or communication breakdowns in a professional setting.
Blended Families/Stepfamilies: Therapy can help blended families navigate the complexities of integrating different family structures, rules, roles, and expectations.
Pre-marital Counselling: Couples planning to get married may benefit from pre-marital counselling to address potential challenges and build a strong foundation for their marriage.
Intimate Partnerships: Therapy can aid individuals in same-sex or non-binary partnerships in addressing unique challenges and fostering healthy communication and connection.
Long-Distance Relationships: Couples separated by distance may use therapy to work on maintaining intimacy, managing trust issues, and navigating the challenges of being apart.
Polyamorous or Non-Monogamous Relationships: Therapy can provide support for individuals and partners navigating the complexities of non-traditional relationship structures.
Co-dependency: Therapy can help individuals in co-dependent relationships establish healthy boundaries and develop a sense of self.
Divorce or Separation: Divorce or separation therapy can help couples navigate the separation process with less conflict and emotional distress, particularly if children are involved.
Loss or Grief: Therapy can support individuals and families coping with the loss of a loved one in processing their grief and adjust to life without that person.
Caregiver Relationships: Caregiver therapy can assist individuals who are providing care for a family member with a chronic illness or disability, helping them manage stress and maintain a healthy relationship balance.
Emotional or Verbal Abuse: Therapy can help individuals in abusive relationships establish safety plans, develop self-esteem, and work towards healing and recovery.
It’s important to note that seeking therapy doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship is failing; rather, it signifies a commitment to growth, understanding, and improving the dynamics within the relationship. Different therapists may specialize in various types of relationships, so it’s crucial to find a therapist who has experience and expertise in the specific area that aligns with your needs.
What are the potential outcomes of Relationship Therapy?
The outcomes of relationship therapy can vary depending on the specific goals of the couple and the dynamics of their relationship. Here are some potential outcomes:
Improved Communication: Relationship therapy can help couples learn effective communication skills, enabling them to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns more openly and respectfully. This can lead to better understanding and empathy between partners.
Conflict Resolution: Couples often seek therapy to address ongoing conflicts and disagreements. Therapists can work with couples to develop techniques for resolving conflicts in healthier ways, such as active listening, compromise, and problem-solving.
Increased Emotional Intimacy: Therapy can foster emotional closeness and intimacy between partners. Through guided discussions and exercises, couples can learn to connect on a deeper level and share their vulnerabilities.
Strengthened Bond: As couples work through challenges together, they may develop a stronger bond and sense of partnership. This can lead to a greater sense of unity and shared goals.
Renewed Commitment: Relationship therapy can help couples reassess their commitment to each other and the relationship. This may involve rediscovering the reasons they came together and exploring ways to rekindle their connection.
Enhanced Self-Awareness: Through therapy, individuals may gain insights into their own behaviours, patterns, and triggers. This increased self-awareness can lead to personal growth and a better understanding of how their actions impact the relationship.
Learning Healthy Relationship Patterns: Therapists can educate couples about healthy relationship dynamics, boundaries, and expectations. This knowledge can help couples develop a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
Coping Strategies: Relationship therapy can help couples review their existing coping strategies to deal with stress, life changes, and external pressures and expand their repertoire to improve their relationship.
Prevention of Future Issues: Even in relatively healthy relationships, therapy can serve as a preventive measure by addressing minor issues before they escalate into larger problems.
Making Informed Decisions: In some cases, couples may decide to separate or divorce. Relationship therapy can facilitate productive discussions about these decisions and help couples navigate the process with greater understanding and empathy.
It’s important to note that the effectiveness of relationship therapy depends on the willingness and active participation of both partners. Some couples may experience significant improvements in a relatively short period, while others may require more extensive therapy to achieve their desired outcomes.
Delivery methods:
- Face to Face
- Video
- Telephone
Locations for Relationship Therapy:
Georgia Nichol:
247 David Low Way,
Peregian Beach, QLD
Video & Telephone Sessions also available
Sharyn Dorber:
Laidley Community Centre,
13 Mary St. Laidley, QLD
Video & Telephone Sessions also available
Judy Rafferty:
126 Hume St.
East Toowoomba, QLD
Video & Telephone Sessions also available
What is cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT)?
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy (talking therapy) based on the idea that how you think and act affects how you feel. It can help in many different situations — with both mental and physical health problems.
How does CBT work?
If you are thinking negatively about yourself or a situation and that is causing you problems, CBT might be able to help.
In CBT, you work with a therapist to recognise the patterns of thinking (cognition) and behaviour that cause you problems. Then CBT teaches you practical ways to learn or re-learn more helpful and healthy habits. Basically, the aim is to challenge and break the habit of negative thinking. Negative and unhelpful thinking can show itself in different ways. Some examples are catastrophising, where you always assume the worst possible outcome, and personalisation, where you take everything personally.
CBT is a practical therapy — it focuses on goals and is specific to an individual. It doesn’t look back over your past, it centres on solving current problems.
CBT has been around for many years. It’s the basis of other therapies such as acceptance and commitment therapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, schema therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).
What can CBT help with?
CBT can help children, teenagers and adults with emotional, psychological and psychiatric issues such as anxiety and depression.
CBT has also been shown to help people with:
- anxiety issues like generalised anxiety
- disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety
- disorder, health anxiety and phobias
- obsessive compulsive disorder
- post-traumatic stress disorder
- depression and bipolar disorder
- eating disorders
- relationship issues
- anger and stress
- problem gambling
- substance abuse
- schizophrenia
CBT can also help people with physical problems, such as:
- chronic pain
- fibromyalgia
- migraines
- chronic fatigue syndrome
- insomnia
Who can provide CBT?
Psychologists, psychiatrists, some GPs with training in mental health, mental health nurses, some counsellors and other therapists may provide CBT. You may be eligible for a mental health plan by your doctor to access Medicare rebates for CBT.
CBT can be conducted in private or group sessions — it may be in person or via telehealth (phone or video). Your doctor can refer you to a
CBT therapist, or help you find a counsellor or psychologist experienced in it.
What is Psychodynamic Therapy?
Psychodynamic therapy is derived from psychoanalytic therapy, and both are based on the work of Sigmund Freud. Psychodynamic therapy is an in-depth form of talk therapy based on the theories and principles of psychoanalysis. In effect, talking about problems in a therapeutic setting can be extremely valuable for the individual. Comparatively, psychodynamic therapy is less focused on the patient-therapist relationship and more focused on the patient’s relationship with their external world.
Psychodynamic therapy is primarily used to treat depression and other serious psychological disorders, especially in those who have lost meaning in their lives and have difficulty forming or maintaining personal relationships.
Studies have found that other effective applications of psychodynamic therapy include social anxiety disorder, eating disorders, problems with pain, relationship difficulties, and other areas of concern. This therapy is used with children and adolescents; it is also useful in cases of borderline personality disorder.
However, this therapy type is less used in instances of psychosis, post-traumatic stress disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Research shows that psychodynamic therapy can be just as lastingly effective as therapies such as cognitive-behavioural therapy.
Who is a good candidate for psychodynamic therapy?
Individuals who have the capacity to be self-reflective and are looking to obtain insight into themselves and their behaviour are best suited to this type of therapy. Individuals who are not interested in delving into their life history are better candidates for therapies such as CBT.
Brief psychodynamic therapy may be limited to 25 sessions but often it is a longer process, and stands in contrast to forms of CBT that are specifically designed to be limited in time scope.
With help from the therapist, the client is encouraged to speak freely about anything that comes to mind, including current difficulties, fears, desires, dreams, and fantasies. The goal is to experience a remission of symptoms but also derive such benefits as increased self-worth, better use of a patient’s own talents and abilities, and an improved capacity for developing and maintaining more satisfying relationships. Some people are in psychodynamic therapy for shorter periods, and others for longer; patients may experience benefits at varying points of treatment.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a form of short-term therapy that aims to improve couple relationships by rekindling the physical and emotional bond that can get sacrificed to disappointment in a partner and alienation from them, a common dynamic in distressed couples. If there is a motto for EFT, it is: “Hold me tight.”
Drawing on research supporting attachment theory, the therapy regards the security of partner connection as the best lever for change in a dysfunctional relationship and a necessary source of both couple and individual growth.
Love, in short, is transformative. Restoration of the emotional ties enables partners to be physically and psychologically open and responsive to each other so that they can construct a mutually supportive and satisfying relationship in the moment and for the future.
EFT operates on the evidence that emotions are not accessories to human experience but organizing principles of our lives. The expression of longing and sadness over isolation is a powerful tool for eliciting the lost contact and responsiveness of a partner. Once that contact is restored, it becomes a renewable source of mutual comfort, a buffer against life’s many stresses. Couples can then go on to solve their own problems.
With the guidance of the therapist, couples are led to discover the unmet need for closeness that lies under their anger or alienation. Sharing that vulnerability not only opens the door to a new couple’s dialogue but creates instant opportunities for expressions of tenderness.
What is the Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal informed therapy is based on Polyvagal theory, originated by Dr. Stephen Porges, which provides a physiological and psychological understanding of how and why people move through a continual cycle of mobilization, disconnection, and social engagement. Based on this theory our Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is the foundation upon which our lived experience sits. We come into the world wired to connect. Connection and feeling safe is our birth right. “With our first breath, we embark on a quest to feel safe in our bodies, in our environments, and in our relationships with others. The autonomic nervous system is our personal surveillance system, always on guard, asking the question “Is this safe?” Its goal is to protect us by sensing safety and risk, listening moment by moment to what is happening in and around our bodies and in the connections we have to others”.
Dr. Porges coined the term neuroception to describe the way our autonomic nervous system scans for cues of safety, danger, and life threat without involving the thinking parts of our brain. Neuroception is detection without awareness. It’s automatic and it’s been shaped based on our early life experiences.
Trauma interrupts the process of building the autonomic circuitry of safe connection and sidetracks the development of regulation and resilience. People with trauma histories often experience more intense, extreme autonomic responses, which affects their ability to regulate and feel safe in relationships. The extreme behaviours are autonomic actions in service of survival—adaptive responses ingrained in a survival story that is entered into automatically. Trauma compromises our ability to engage with others by replacing patterns of connection with patterns of protection. If unresolved, these early adaptive survival responses become habitual autonomic patterns. Therapy through a Polyvagal lens, supports clients in re-patterning the ways their autonomic nervous systems operate when the drive to survive competes with the longing to connect with others.
What is the Couples /Gottman Approach?
The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.
Support… where, when and how you need it.